Tuesday, January 1, 1946 (in the Liechtenstein camp near Judenburg, Austria)

I awoke at 4 a.m., but didn't get out of bed till 6:30. At 7, I went to Mass. Bishop Rožman is predicting that we will all return home to Slovenia this year. Maybe! But I doubt it.

Cilka's brother-in-law Mire returned from Feldkirchen and Spittal with 10 shirts which he had obtained through bartering, and a sweater which he got for me for 70 Schillings. Clothes are still in very short supply, and many of us have only what we carried with us when we left Slovenia.

Mire says he heard that my youngest brother Janko returned home safely from Russia. Three years ago, while we were under German occupation, Janko was forced to join the German army and was sent with them to Russia. We were worried that he might never return.

Wednesday, January 2, 1946

The local newspaper reports that there are 60,000 - 70,000 Chetniks in Serbia who are preparing for a spring revolution against the communists. We don't know whether such reports are really true.

If we have to stay in the refugee camp for another six months, and if I can get a job, I will marry Cilka. She has become very impatient because I continue to delay our wedding plans. She is beginning to wonder if I really want to get married. But I tell her that it makes no sense to start a family when we have nothing.

Thursday, January 3, 1946

Our refugee camps are run by UNRRA, the United Nations Relief and Rehabilitation Administration. Today, UNRRA handed out new and used clothing, all American. Four of the men in our group go out into the woods to cut firewood. They were especially in need of some new clothing, and they each received a coat, overalls, a shirt and gloves.

Saturday, January 5, 1946

This morning it was 5F. I cut firewood for the kitchen all morning.

Tomorrow is the holy day of the Three Kings, also called the Epiphany. This evening, as we usually did back home on the evening of this holy day, we formed a procession around our barracks, sprinkled holy water and prayed all 15 decades of the rosary. (In Slovenia, we repeated this three times each year - on Christmas eve, New Year's eve, and on the eve of the Epiphany.)

Sunday, January 6, 1946

At 11 a.m., we went to a solemn high Mass in Judenburg. This afternoon, we watched people ice skating on the frozen Mura River.

Monday, January 7, 1946

I cut firewood for the kitchen all day.

In the afternoon, UNRRA gave me a new green overcoat and a pair of overalls. The overalls are so large, they're like a clown costume. My sister Mici got a blue coat that is too small for her, Mire got overalls, but Cilka didn't get anything.

Tuesday, January 8, 1946

Cilka wrote her first letter home since we left Slovenia. Mail service is finally becoming available again.

I helped my sister Mici exchange her coat for a larger one.

We hear that Chetniks murdered the mayor of our home town of Žiri. (This report turned out to be false.)

Wednesday, January 9, 1946

I helped another member of our group with a clothing exchange. Now almost all of us in our barracks are wearing the same green overcoats with huge collars and yellow trim on the left sleeve.

I made a list of other clothing needed by each member in our group. Many people are not pleased with what they received in this latest distribution. They think it wasn't done fairly. But we really needed new clothes. Some members of our group were so desperate, they had gone to Wolfsberg, where they got pieces of cloth from burned military uniforms. They sewed clothes for themselves out of those pieces.

There are no reports in the newspapers about what happened to Domobranec generals Rupnik, Nedič and Pavelič. We fear that the British have sent them back to be executed in Jugoslavia.

Thursday, January 10, 1946

About 100 Volksdeutscher arrived from Slovenia. (These are Germans who had settled in Slovenia during the war.) The authorities put them in new barracks in our camp.

We received new tobacco ration cards. We can buy 40 cigarettes for each card. I trade the cigarettes for money, food and other things that we need.

Sunday, January 13, 1946

It was warm today. Cilka and I walked in the nearby hills all afternoon. I gathered twigs which we will use to make baskets. The baskets will hold the "pillows" on which our women make bobbin lace.

Tuesday, January 15, 1946

A new snow turned everything white.

The price of bread has dropped from 31 Schillings per kilo to 15, but people have very little money. Here in the camp, we are getting decent rations for now. Each person is getting almost a pound of bread, about 2 cups of coffee, half a cup of milk, two cups of soup, about 3 oz. of meat, half a pound of potatoes and 2 cups of corn mash each day. But the corn mash is getting more watery each day.

Due to a shortage of electricity, the lights are turned off each evening form 7 - 8 p.m. When it's dark in our room, we usually say prayers. Somehow, Jakob shaves himself in the darkness.

I stayed in the barracks all day today. I started reading my first English book. It's called "The Oakleyites." I don't understand it - I don't have a good dictionary to look up words that I don't know.

Wednesday, January 16, 1946

Rožman, the tailor, agreed to make my sister Mici a new coat for 80 cigarettes.

Thursday, January 17, 1946

Today is my father's 67th birthday. I wonder how he is, back in Slovenia. This morning, I went to Mass. In the evening, I went to church to say the rosary. I usually don't go when it's this cold.

Our friend Potočnik returned from a trip to a different part of Austria, where he had talked with some people who had news from our home town. He said our neighbor died, our friend Johan got married and two families were sent into exile. People want to see an end to communist rule.

Saturday, January 19, 1946

Janko Demšar (one of the members of our group) left for Feldkirchen. I asked him to take my new overalls (the clown costume) and see what he could trade for them.

Sunday, January 20, 1946

This evening, we went to the nearby town of Murdorf to see and hear an excellent performance by the Ukrainian refugees. The performance included dancing, magic tricks and singing.

Groga (one of the members of our group) has been complaining that he doesn't get his fair share of food. I gave him our ration card and told him he could get his own food from the camp authorities. Up until now, we've been getting our food together and then dividing it up in our room. Now we have our first separatist!

Monday, January 21, 1946

Our woodcutters brought 2 cubic yards of wood from the forest today. On the way back, they somehow lost two large pieces. There was an argument because not everyone is doing their share of work

Tuesday, January 22, 1946

Janko returned from Feldkirchen. He got 500 cigarettes for two pairs of overalls and some other things. We will be able to trade the cigarettes for things we need here.

Wednesday, January 23, 1946

They've started cooking dry beans for supper. It's a good, but heavy food.

We weighed ourselves. Pavel Kokelj is the heaviest in the camp at 209 lbs, Cene is close behind him at 200. I'm far behind at 152.

Thursday, January 24, 1946

This morning, I chopped wood for the kitchen. In the afternoon, I did the same for our room, then I got things ready for basket weaving.

Friday, January 25, 1946

Mire left for Spittal - without permission from the authorities. He can't seem to find any work here in the camp. He lies in bed till 10 or 12, and then he eats and smokes. Sometimes, when things are not going well for him, he'll sleep for days.

Cilka is sometimes angry with me because I keep delaying our wedding. She would like us to start a family. How can we, when we have nothing and our future is so uncertain? Right now, the other refugees from our home village of Žiri are my family.

Saturday, January 26, 1946

This afternoon, I went to the city to sell the lace we had made, but I sold nothing. Money is short everywhere.

Our friends Karl and Janez Vončina got jobs with shoemaker Russheim nearby. They say they are satisfied.

Sunday, January 27, 1946

I went to Mass at 5 a.m. and 7 a.m., and litanies at 5 p.m. In the afternoon, Mici, Cilka and I walked into the city to watch skiers and ice-skaters.

The newspapers report constantly growing conflicts between the Americans and British on one side and the Soviet Union on the other side in a conference of foreign ministers in London. I expect we will see another world war starting during the coming year.

Monday, January 28, 1946

UNRRA is handing out clothes again. Cilka received a coat and towel.

Tuesday, January 29, 1946

Mire returned to the camp with flour, nails, suitcases and some other things which he obtained through bartering during his travels.

He also brought news from our home village:

Our church organist, Anton Jobst, together with his wife and child, were deported by the communist authorities in Žiri on Christmas Eve, 1945. All of their possessions were taken away. With great difficulty, they made their way through Hungary, to Celovec (Klagenfurt), in Austria. (A web page published in Žiri in 2001 states that the reasons for their deportation are still unknown. In the early years of the communist government in Jugoslavia, it was not unusual for people to be deported or jailed for vague "crimes against the state.")

Mire also reported that the Gantar brothers (Cilka's cousins) in Žiri were arrested and their possessions taken. Martinc was shot (we learned later that this report was not true), and Muhovc died. Shoemakers are working again at a number of small shops in Žiri.

This morning, UNRRA began vaccinating everyone against typhus. In the afternoon, they gave each of us a shirt. The shirts are all the same - gray with collars so large, they look like elephant ears.

Thursday, January 31, 1946

The British delivered enough wood to the camp for 20 new barracks, which will be built by the Ukrainians.

Friday, February 1, 1946

I sold 200 American cigarettes for 2 Schillings each and bought 2 kilos of bread for 12 Schillings each.

At Kuznik's, I got an order for us to make bobbin lace - that's good!

Saturday, February 2, 1946

This afternoon, Cilka and I walked across the frozen Mura River and then back through the town of Murdorf. We read a report in a newspaper about many priests being arrested in Ljubljana - my brother Stanko is among them.

Pavel Podobnik says he heard that refugee Lovro Možina was shot when he returned to his home in Slovenia. (That report turned out to not be true.)

This evening, we had Slovenian pancakes for the first time in this camp. From 8 - 10 p.m., we played "spank the judge" ("biti rihtarja"). Janez Levičar, who was a real judge in Slovenia, got spanked the most. Whenever Levičar bent over and covered his head, we all crowded around him in a circle. Pavle, our largest and strongest man, jumped forward and spanked him, and then quickly jumped back behind the rest of us. Levičar looked up and could not guess who spanked him. Levičar got spanked more than anyone else before he finally guessed right.

Sunday, February 3, 1946

For Sunday dinner, we had a thick soup, and then for supper, we had beans. Finally, after months of being hungry, we have enough food!

This afternoon, the weather was nice. Cilka and I went for a walk in the woods, but we argued again.

Tuesday, February 5, 1946

I drew a nice design for a bobbin lace collar. It's for an order I received from a professor in a nearby town.

Wednesday, February 6, 1946

I received an order for more than 100 pieces of bobbin lace. This will provide enough work for my sister Mici, Cilka, and Karl Erznožnik's Mici for 6 months!

Thursday, February 7, 1946

At 6 a.m., we went to a Mass for my priest brother Stanko, who is in prison in Ljubljana.

Friday, February 8, 1946

The Ukrainians are building new barracks quickly, and tearing down some which we had built.

Sunday, February 10, 1946

This afternoon, Cilka and I walked across the frozen Mura to an auto junkyard. In the evening, our group played "spank the judge" again.

We hear that, at the London conference, the Americans and the British refused all Russian requests that refugees be forced back to their homelands.

Monday, February 11, 1946

Today was the second round of typhus vaccinations. I only got one shot today, some got two. The others say it hurts, but it doesn't bother me.

In the evening, we listened to a speech by Dr. Basaj about the dangers of selfishness and laziness. Back home, Dr. Basaj was a leader in the Slovenian government. Now, he's a refugee like the rest of us, but he still has the ability to inspire people.

Tuesday, February 12, 1946

This evening, Dr. Basaj spoke to the women. Outside, it's snowing and raining.

Wednesday, February 13, 1946

Last night, I dreamed about eating meat which was cooked in our family home. Here, we get very little meat.

This evening, I went to driver's training for the first time. A Ukrainian engineer is teaching in the city; he says he will begin teaching in the refugee camp.

Thursday, February 14, 1946

I paid 5 Schillings for a driver's training course which will be held in the new school barracks in the refugee camp. Sixty people signed up.

Saturday, February 16, 1946

I went to the city (Judenburg), where I sold all the lace I brought with me and got orders for more. Thank God!

Sunday, February 17, 1946

We went to Mass at 5 a.m. and 7 a.m. as usual. In the afternoon, Cilka and I took a walk along the Mura River to the woods and back. It was very windy!

In the evening, we had a pre-Lenten (Mardi Gras) dance in our room. Since we are almost all men in our room, we invited women from the nearby barracks to join us. Karl played the harmonica, Fr. Kopač played an aluminum banjo, Levičar played on a homemade tambourine, I played bass (on a broom), someone else played on a comb, and others played on the pots and pans that we had made from warplanes.

Monday, February 18, 1946

We hear news reports that the UN Security Council meeting in London ended without success. It appears that another world war is unavoidable!

I received written confirmation that I was vaccinated 4 times against typhoid.

Exactly one year ago, American planes bombed our home village of Žiri.

Thursday, February 21, 1946

I cut firewood for the kitchen all day. I'm tired because I'm no longer used to such hard work. I spent most of the previous 3 days drawing designs for bobbin lace.

The camp authorities have said that everyone will have to go work for farmers in the nearby countryside. Our driving instructor says students in the driving course will be exempt. People do not like working on the farms because they are forced to work 14 - 16 hours a day, and all they get is some food.

Saturday, February 23, 1946

Mire and Janko went to Kapfenberg, where they hoped to buy some Jugoslav dinars from recent refugees. They were only able to get 500 dinars for 75 Schillings. They will send the dinars back to their relatives in Slovenia.

Sunday, February 24, 1946

There was no dance tonight. Rev. Rott had a sermon this morning, in which he denounced the dance we had last week.

We have 7 priests in our camp:

1) Rev. Janez Klemenčič was the pastor of his parish, a real farmer, and very hard working. He likes to do everything very quickly. When he does the final blessing at Mass, he's already turning and getting ready to take off his vestments. He's adamantly opposed to refugees having to work for local farmers for little or nothing. He has made contacts with the local clergy, who often help him with extra food and other things. Since he knows German well, he often helps in the nearby churches.

2) Rev. Roman Malavašič is the complete opposite of Rev. Klemenčič. He doesn't venture into the surrounding area, and he suffers because of that. He works hard in the camp, publishes the camp newsletter "A Home on the Mura," takes care of the camp chapel and works with the boys. In his sermons, he tells us to not be too concerned about getting paid for our work, but then he always wants more donations for the chapel. How can we give for the chapel if we don't get paid for our work?

3) Rev. Josip Rott is a nice man, but he doesn't work and he wants everyone to live like a saint. He's opposed to all forms of recreation and is very strict about proper singing in church. Once, when he thought people were singing too lively in church, he stopped them in the middle of the song and told them there is only one church song that should be sung like a march.

4) Rev. Franc Kokelj is an older man who preaches about nothing other than the upcoming final judgement. He looks like the poorest man in the camp, but actually is the wealthiest. Why did he leave Slovenia?

5) Rev. Janko Hafner likes to split firewood and wants to excommunicate anyone who doesn't attend Mass regularly.

6) Rev. Jože Peri is the least known priest in the camp.

7) Kanonik Tomaž Klinar is a higher ranking priest, so he doesn't live in the barracks with the other refugees. He has an apartment in the special barracks for the camp administrators. He likes to play tarok cards. His sister cooks for him.

I know that Rev. Klemeni and Malavašič would be executed if they returned to Slovenia, but I don't know why the other priests left home.

Monday, February 25, 1946

Five members of our group (Štrajt, Rafel, Andrej, Janez and Groga) have decided they will return to Slovenia. I tried to talk them out of it, but I was not succesful. A couple others are thinking about returning, but can't decide. A sadness has fallen over our room, as if we just had a funeral.

I'm attending driver's training 4 evenings a week. In addition to the Ukrainian engineer, we have two other instructors - a Croatian named Rauš and Janko Smole.

Tuesday, February 26, 1946

One of the men who will be leaving has had a job cutting firewood for the camp. The job provided him with extra food rations. Cene at first suggested I could take his job, but then picked Franc Kopač. I wonder if he thinks I wouldn't work hard enough.

I worked on bobbin lace designs all day.

At 2 p.m., Štrajt, Rafael, Andrej and Janez left the camp to return to Slovenia. I cried, and Mici cried even more. We may never see each other again.

The Mlinar sisters came for a visit. They are working for farmers in the Koroška region of Austria.

Leviar is no longer disapproving of refugees who return to Slovenia. He's quiet and thinking. The other members of our group say it's crazy to think about returning. There is a feeling of envy for those who can return.

Wednesday, February 27, 1946

I went to the damaged warplanes in the woods and brought back some wire and aluminum pipes.

Thursday, February 28, 1946

This evening, some of the refugees performed the comedy "At the White Pony." My sister Mici helped people remember their lines. Attendance was good and people were happy with the performance.

Saturday, March 2, 1946

Tonight I went to a repeat performance of the "White Pony." The acting was excellent, especially Dr. Erman.

Sunday, March 3, 1946

At 7 a.m., I went to Mass, then driving class from 10 - 12, then a walk with Cilka from 3 - 5 p.m., and another dance from 8 - midnight. Even I tried dancing. But the absence of some members of our group (the ones who returned to Slovenia last week) kept our spirits down.

Monday, March 4, 1946

I wove a basket from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. I think it turned out well.

We have electricity now without interruption, and without any problems.

Tuesday, March 5, 1946, Mardi Gras

A new English class started at 5 p.m.. The teacher, Miss Russon, speaks English only and moves on very quickly. From 8 - 10 p.m., I went to driver training. The others in our room had a dance till midnight. There was also a dance in the camp hall with people wearing masks.

Our room got extra food for supper because it was our turn to get what was left over in the kettle. The food that is left in the kettle after everyone gets their rations goes to a different barracks each day. Our turn for this extra food comes up every other Tuesday.

Wednesday, March 6, 1946, Ash Wednesday

Someone set up a puppet man made of straw next to a barracks that has mostly women, and set it on fire. Everyone in the camp came to watch. Whoever set it up was teasing the women about not being married.

Thursday, March 7, 1946

Mire returned from another one of his trips. UNRRA is saying they will no longer give him food ration cards since he leaves without permission.

Friday, March 8, 1946

I was at driver's training all evening. The engineer spoke 4 times, and the electrician 3 times. We have to learn everything about how automobiles work.

Saturday, March 9, 1946

Mire got his first postcard from his wife Manica (Cilka's sister) back home in Žiri. She writes that she is fine, but bored. There is not a single word for Cilka. I think Cilka's family is angry with her, that she is traveling with me without being married. We should have gotten married in Vetrinje, our first camp. But I always wanted us to be married by my priest brother Stanko, in the presence of my parents, and my other brothers and sisters. Are we waiting in vain for the time when that will be possible?

Sunday, March 10, 1946

I went to Mass at 7 and 9 a.m., then to driver's training from 10 - 12, then for a walk with Cilka and Mici to the soccer field outside town. This afternoon, the camp had a farewell ceremony for departing UNRRA director Cluyver.

Cilka got a card from her sister Manica with news from Žiri. Her cousins Franc and Jože Gantar were each sentenced to 10 years in prison for not cooperating with the Partisans during the war. Franc was my boss when I was assistant manager for the shoemakers' cooperative in Kranj during the war. I said the two of us would probably be hung from the nearest lamppost if the Partisans win the war; he said we would probably get 10 years in prison. He guessed that one exactly right.

Later, I learned that Franc Gantar had actually helped the Partisans, even while we were making shoes under German occupation. One day during the war, he was very worried about a certain wagonload of wood. The horse-drawn wagon was stopped by Partisans, who took 800 kilos of leather which Franc had hidden under the wood. I believe he had arranged with the Partisans for them to get that leather. I heard that he also gave the Partisans 7% of whatever profit we made from sellling shoes to the Germans. That kind of assistance probably kept him from being executed after the war, but it wasn't enough to keep him out of prison. After he got out of prison, he worked his way up until he became one of the managers of the Alpina shoemaking factory, which was formed out of the many small shoemakers' cooperatives which we had in Žiri.

Monday, March 11, 1946

The international situation continues to become more and more dangerous. There are news reports that the Russians have occupied Persia. The British and the Americans are protesting, but the Russians are not bothering to reply. Last week, Winston Churchill attacked the Russians in a strongly worded speech. He proposed the formation of a British-American mutual defense alliance against the Russians. Many people expect war to break out very soon.

Wednesday, March 13, 1946

About 300 new refugees were settled into the new barracks in our camps. These are all Volksdeutcher - Germans who had settled in Jugoslavia during the war.

Friday, March 15, 1946

In driver's training, I've been studying automobile electrical systems.

In English class, I completed my biggest assignment yet - a letter to a cousin in Australia.

Monday, March 18, 1946

My brother Jože, who has been living in Feldkirchen, Austria, came here to visit us in the camp. He says he received letters from many members of our family back in Žiri: his wife Francka, daughter Anita, our brother Janko, and our parents. All letters are censored, so they cannot say anything that would be critical of the current situation in Slovenia. But since they are not asking us to come back home, that means we should continue to wait here.

Tuesday, March 19, 1946

We celebrated my brother Jože's 40th birthday. My sister Mici cooked some delicious dumplings, but Mire didn't want to eat any, since they were made out of his flour.

This afternoon, a group of us walked about 7 miles to Dietersdorf and back through Fohnsdorf. We hoped to visit some friends who had recently arrived at a camp in Dietersdorf, but the Croatians running the camp would not let us in.

In the evening, my roommates played "spank the judge," but I didn't join in.

Wednesday, March 20, 1946

All day, I cut firewood for the kitchen. This is usually Karl's job, but he was busy repairing shoes for Cilka and Mici. I got into an argument with Rode, who had sharpened the saw only on one side.

Thursday, March 21, 1946

Sugar is no longer included in our food rations. Again, there is talk that we will all have to go work in the nearby farms. Very few people are agreeing to go voluntarily.

Friday, March 22, 1946

Earlier, we were all required to deposit whatever money we had in the local banks. Now they refuse to let us withdraw any savings without approval from UNRRA police.

This afternoon, a group of us took a long walk past the ruins of the Liechtenstein castle to the top of a nearby hill.

Monday, March 25, 1946

Today was a holy day. We went to Mass at 7 and 9 a.m., then took another long walk in the nearby hills.

This evening, some of the refugees performed the play "Snow White."

Tuesday, March 26, 1946

Franc Kopač received a number of letters from Slovenia. Everyone is asking him to come back home, including some of his friends who had just recently returned home from refugee camps. Even so, he says he won't return.

Anže also got a letter with an invitation to return home. Cene got a letter, but no invitation. Groga has decided to return home, and is looking for the documents he will need.

In the news from Jugoslavia, General Mihajlovičand his staff were arrested. Many people were hoping he would bring freedom this spring.

Wednesday, March 27, 1946

Our friend Groga left the camp to return home.

Our food rations are being cut: 25% less bread, canned meat instead of fresh, no sugar, less milk. We've been getting 1,800 calories a day - now we'll get 1,200. (Nutrition experts recommend about 2,000 calories a day.)

Monday, April 1, 1946

UNRRA is moving all the new refugees who arrived in our camp two weeks ago to a different camp at Trofaiach. The people do not want to move.

Tuesday, April 2, 1946

Today's dinner had less bread, but more canned meat and potatoes. Instead of sugar, they gave us each two pieces of chocolate.

I wrote my first letter home.

Our driving instructor asked us lots of questions today. He tried both German and English, but none of us knew the answers.

Yesterday, Pavel Podobnik and Janko Demšar (two men in our group) decided to return home, but today they changed their minds and decided to wait a while longer.

Saturday, April 6, 1946

The authorities are requiring all refugees to report for work on nearby farms. I accompanied one of our men to the "Arbeitsamt" (work office) to get an exemption. A friendly clerk recommended that I go to the regional government and get approval for our people to work in trades and crafts (making lace, etc.). But I have to find merchants who are willing to buy what we produce and treat us like their workers.

This afternoon, we watched a soccer game. UNRRA staff played the British pilots, winning by 4:2.

Tuesday, April 9, 1946

Today we welcomed a new arrival to our camp - Jože Urbanc. Early in the war, Jože was a partisan, but then he became a Domobranec. When he was a Partisan, they called him "Gašper." In a battle between the Partisans and the Domobranci, the Domobranci captured him and convinced him to join their side. At first, the Domobranci didn't trust him, so they sent him into battle with the Partisans with only three cartridges for his rifle. But he soon proved to be an excellent fighter for the Domobranci.

After the war, Jože fled to Vetrinje with the rest of us, but the authorities sent him back to Yugoslavia with the other Domobranci. He escaped and twisted his ankle during the escape. With that twisted ankle, he fled on foot across the mountains. When he arrived in Austria, the authorities captured him and put him in prison for 6 months because he didn't have the proper authorization to enter Austria. (The rules became much stricter after we entered Austria.) Now the Austrians finally released him and allowed him to join us here. (But he only stayed with us for a few months until he got work near Celovec (Klagenfurt). Soon after he left, we received a letter for him from Fr. Erpič in Australia, inviting him to settle there. As I recall, we didn't have a forwarding address for him, and he may have never received that letter.)

Wednesday, April 10, 1946

Two of our roommates, the brothers Pavel and Jakob Podobnik, returned to Slovenia today. (Jakob is the one who made us a wall clock from an unexploded time bomb.) When he left Slovenia last year, Pavle promised his wife Marika that he would return within two years. He's keeping his word, and even going back a year earlier than he promised. Pavle is feeling brave and ready to face whatever problems they will encounter. But his brother Jakob is very worried that the communist authorities will make life difficult for them.

Felix, one of our other roommates, became sick today and fell down. We had to carry him to the hospital.

Thursday, April 11, 1946

We didn't receive our usual ration of bread yesterday and today. Instead, they gave us each some dried biscuits.

I was at driver's training from 6 - 10 p.m. It was all lectures, some of which I didn't understand.

Saturday, April 13, 1946

Today our driver's training moved out of the classroom and outside, next to an automobile which is owned by the camp. We didn't actually drive, but I sat in the driver's seat for my first time.

Sunday, April 14, 1946

I drove a car for the first time - it was only a short distance with the instructor, and it didn't go well.

Monday, April 15, 1946

This morning, Rev. Hafner began a class in religion for men. I joined with 30 other men and boys.

Tuesday, April 16, 1946

Today, I was at religious education in the morning, then to an English class which is taught by Mr. Klemente, a fellow refugee, then to an English class which is taught by Miss Russon (a Canadian who is employed by UNRRA to help run the refugee camp), and then to driver's training. Six hours of classes!

Wednesday, April 17, 1946

I cut firewood all day.

Thursday, April 18, 1946

Today we had classes again. The religion class finished with Mass and communion.

Saturday, April 20, 1946

Tomorrow is Easter. We used some of our savings to buy traditional Slovenian Easter food - sausages, salami and eggs - food which we had not seen for months. The women baked some potica. This afternoon, we took everything to church to be blessed, and then we had a wonderful dinner.

Sunday, April 21, 1946, Easter

We went to the church in Judenburg for the 5 a.m. Mass of the Resurrection. The church was full, and the singing and music were beautiful. There was a short procession outside, and guns were fired into the air in celebration.

At 7 a.m., we went to a second Easter Mass at the camp chapel. Beautiful singing!

For Easter dinner, we had soup with dumplings, potatoes, fried chicken (!), lettuce and potica. What a change from our usual diet!

This evening, we played "spank the judge" in our room.

Monday, April 22, 1946

In driver's training today, I drove for about 5 - 6 minutes in the morning, and 10 minutes in the afternoon.

My brother Jože is visiting from Feldkirchen, Austria, where he has been living and working for a shoemaker. He is showing me how to cut leather to make the upper parts of shoes. He says he plans to return to Slovenia and wants me to get his job when he leaves.

We often still see new refugees arriving from Yugoslavia, and at the same time, some of the refugees who had left earlier are returning.

There was a dance in our room from 10 p.m. to midnight.

Thursday, April 25, 1946

I had my picture taken and paid 8 Schillings for 4 copies. I gave one to Cilka and will use the other copies for identification documents.

We hear that the driver's training class may be eliminated. I need 20 more minutes behind the wheel before I can take the exam. I haven't learned how to shift gears yet.

Friday, April 26, 1946

I visited a local shoemaker and sold him 3 pairs of leather uppers which I had cut out with training from my brother Jože. The shoemaker ordered 3 more pairs.

Saturday, April 27, 1946

Driver training class was out on the road today. I got to drive for 3 minutes - it went well. The camp's second car broke down. A piston broke through, ruining the engine.

Sunday, April 28, 1946

Our driver training class drove on a nice road almost to Leoben, about a 60 mile round trip. We stopped often, taking turns driving. I drove about 15 miles, including some backing up - it went well again.

Monday, April 29, 1946

This afternoon, I accompanied 8 fellow refugees in a car to St. Johan in Tauern (about 20 miles away) where they will work for farmers. The car was driven by a Russian, who drove about 50 miles per hour on the narrow, winding mountain road. The ride was horrible!

This evening, the UNRRA director announced that we will have elections for a health and welfare board for the camp. Board members will not be paid, and each one will have responsibility for a separate aspect of camp life, such as health, food, employment, schools, etc.

Tuesday, April 30, 1946

People are becoming excited about holding elections in the camp. Some people are saying I should run on a slate which will oppose the current appointed leadership.

About 160 Slovenians relocated to our camp from Dietersdorf, while a number of Croatians moved there. Now we have only Slovenians (about 700, including children) in our camp.

Wednesday, May 1, 1946

Cene Kokelj (one of my roommates) received about 20 pounds of wheat for working on a farm. I accompanied him to a nearby town to help him find a miller to grind the wheat into flour, but we couldn't find anyone.

People celebrated the first of May. It was hot outside.

Jerry Zupan tried to convince me to run on the opposition slate. I told him I would decide tomorrow.

Thursday, May 2, 1946

I found someone in a nearby town who was willing to give me 13 pounds of flour for about 18 pounds of Cene's wheat. Cene let me keep half of it for helping him.

I decided to run on a slate that would support the current camp leadership. I think the opposition just complains and criticizes, and can't agree what to do to make things better.

We had a camp meeting from 8:30 to 10:30 p.m. Some people asked me to run for president of the camp board, but I refused. I told them that I would run for a position on the board if I could have the responsibility for employment. I am particularly concerned about our teenagers, who loiter around the camp without any work.

Friday, May 3, 1946

Current members of the appointed camp leadership are not allowed to run in the election for the new board. The only person we can agree on for president on the "governing" slate is Dr. Erman, who has been in the appointed leadership. Dr. Erman has agreed to give up his appointed position, which has now been filled by his wife.

Some of the individuals who were considering running on the opposition slate changed their minds at the last minute and switched to the "governing" slate.

Saturday, May 4, 1946

Cilka's brother-in-law, Mire, is campaigning against Dr. Erman and some of the other members of the "governing" slate. Levičar and Šepin are working hard to build support for the "governing" slate.

Two of the 8 men and women whom I had accompanied last week to work on farms returned today. One of them is the man whom I had asked to speak for the others, and to keep on eye on how the farmers treated each one. He said the farmers made them sleep where their dogs usually slept - under the front steps. They fed them left over grain which included more mouse droppings than grain. These farmers still think they can treat us the way Hitler told them to treat the Slavic peoples who were forced to work on German and Austrian farms during the war.

Sunday, May 5, 1946

The election campaign has been very lively, but I decided to stay in my room today. The opposition published 6 - 8 leaflets, but we didn't publish a single one. I didn't even campaign in my own room. Each person has to make their own decision!

The elections were held this morning, until noon. I went towards the close, and voted for the other candidates on my slate, but not for myself. I don't think anyone can judge their own qualifications. I don't know whether any of my roommates voted for me.

Results were announced at 3:30: There were 350 people voting out of a possible 390. Ivan Maček received the most votes (340), and he will be responsible for food and kitchen. Jože Tominc received 298 votes to be in charge of health. I was third, with 278 votes to be responsible for employment. Other members of the "governing" slate were successful in their bids to be in charge of culture, education, athletics, gardening, clothing and firewood. The opposition slate was not successful. Jerry Zupan received 134 votes, the most for anyone on the opposition slate. Dr. Est, who expected to be elected president, received the lowest number of votes on the "governing" slate.

The UNRRA director told us today that we will be getting less food for a while. He begged us all to stay calm and maintain order for at least another 2 months - until the locally grown food begins to be available this summer. Each day now, the camp gives us some bread, a little meat, some potatoes, peas or macaroni, but it hardly adds up to half the calories we should be getting. We are receiving about 750 calories a day, and they tell us it might drop to 320. We supplement the camp rations with the potatoes that we found left over in farmer's fields last fall. Sometimes we eat those potatoes three times a day, prepared in many different ways, but we have no butter or fat to mix with them, so they're not very filling.

This evening we had a dance and played spank the judge in our room till 10 p.m.

Monday, May 6, 1946

The camp board held its first meeting this morning, first just the board for 30 minutes, then a 2 hour meeting with the UNRRA director, Mr. Gilbert (a Belgian military officer employed by the United Nations Relief and Rehabilitation Administration and in charge of 3 refugee camps in the Judenburg area). We will be meeting every Monday morning. Because our board president does not understand German, I was selected to represent our camp.

The director explained the responsibilities of each board member. I will be responsible for arranging employment. The director asked me to meet with him individually tomorrow morning.

Employment is the area that I wanted to work on. I will do everything I can to get jobs for our refugees, especially the young people. I don't like to see our people loafing around the camp, but I don't like to see them being treated like slaves by the local farmers either.

At our first meeting today, I proposed that we select someone to take minutes of our meetings. Nobody volunteered, so I agreed to do that. (Later, the director asked for minutes each time we met, so I was glad I was able to provide that. I wrote my notes in Slovenian during each meeting. The director wanted an English translation, so I worked on that after each meeting. The translation went well, except I had a hard time finding the right English words for "meeting minutes." At first, I couldn't believe that "minutes" could be the right word. In Slovenian, the word "minuta" means a minute of time and has nothing to do with meeting notes. But then I learned that, in Latin, "minutiae" means "details.")

(During the entire time that I was responsible for employment at the camp, I always checked the working conditions before I sent anyone to a particular job. There were many jobs available where the conditions were horrible and the pay was very minimal. There were no minimum wage laws. The best jobs were with the British in Zeltweg or in the woods near Schmelz.)

(Although my responsibility for refugee employment took a lot of time, I never received any pay. Later, they provided each board member with 15 cigarettes a week, but that didn't last long. For a while, we also got some extra soup which was full of mouse droppings. As I write these additional notes thirty years later, I can't believe I was able to eat that soup. I must have been very hungry.)

Mire bought me a Remington typewriter which is very useful now for my new responsibilities. I can type in both German and English.

On one of his many trips to neighboring towns and cities, Mire traded some shoes we had made for 4 lbs. of bacon, 20 lbs. of wheat, 3 lbs. of flour and a quart of milk. This will be a very welcome addition to our camp rations!

Tuesday, May 7, 1946

At 6:30 a.m., I went to Mass for my priest brother Stanko, who is still in prison in Slovenia. It's his birthday today. We prayed for his release.

Then, I met with the UNRRA director and a Croatian who is responsible for employment at the Dietersdorf camp. The director provided us with additional instructions about our new responsibilities. He said we can each choose one or two assistants. Then we went to the local Austrian "Arbeitsamt" (work office).

This afternoon, I met with a representative from a construction company in Graz regarding possible employment for our refugees. Janko Demšar will go visit them tomorrow to review the working conditions.

Wednesday, May 8, 1946

This afternoon, we had a special 3-hour meeting of the new camp board. Dr. Erman wants to dictate everything, and everyone else stays silent. I made some proposals, but it didn't do any good.

Thursday, May 9, 1946

Last January, everyone had to turn in their German Marks. Each person received 150 Austrian Schillings in return; anything over that had to be deposited in the Postal Savings. Today, I went to UNRRA with a list showing how much each person in our room turned in. We are having problems getting any money back out of savings. While I was there, UNRRA gave me 5 pencils and some paper for my new responsibilities.

This afternoon, Mire and I went to a quarry near Maria Buch regarding employment possibilities. We talked with a worker who told us that the pay is not very good and the work is physically very demanding. Workers need to be well fed, not the kind of diet we get at the camp. Work in the quarry is also hard on the workers' clothes, so you need to be prepared for torn and worn out clothes that will need to be replaced frequently.

The worker at the quarry showed us a valuable stone (onyx) which they sometimes find in that quarry. He also showed us where they mine mica, which is used for windows in stoves and furnaces. Mica comes in thin, flat pieces which look like glass but are more heat resistant than glass.

This evening, we had a meeting of the leaders from each barracks. We agreed to a plan to establish workshops in the camp.

It's now one year since we became refugees.

Monday, May 13, 1946

At 5 a.m., the British surrounded the camp. At 7 a.m., they asked everyone to come out of their barracks. Every male older than 15 had to show their identification. We were very worried that they were looking for people who may have been reported as "war criminals" by the Yugoslav government. But nobody was arrested.

For the rest of the morning, I typed a card file with information on every person in our camp who is older than 15 and younger than 60 - about 350 people. I am dividing them into 3 categories: 18 - 45 year olds who are unemployed (we have 80 in this group), 16 - 60 year olds who are employed (140 in this group), and 16 - 60 year olds who are not able to work (150 in this group).

The camp board met from 7:30 to 9:30 p.m.

Wednesday, May 15, 1946

I received my first postcard from Yugoslavia - it was from my mother. My sister Mici also received a card from our sister Julka, and Cilka received a card from her friend. They report that they have bread, but not enough butter, sugar or money.

Thursday, May 16, 1946

This evening, the camp board reviewed the way I had categorized everyone in the employment file. One person attacked me because I had listed his wife as being able to work, but not working. Everyone else agreed with my list and my plans.

Saturday, May 18, 1946

My brother Jože arrived from Feldkirchen with flour, bacon and other food.

In the evening, we went to a circus performance, but it was not very good.

Sunday, May 19, 1946

This morning, I met with refugees who want to work as lumbermen in the woods.

In the evening, I worked on a list of craftspeople in our camp. We have shoemakers, carpenters, bakers and others.

Monday, May 20, 1946

All morning, I ran to various places in Judenburg asking about employment for our refugees, but found nothing.

Last Saturday, I was able to withdraw some money from Postal Savings for 4 of my roommates. There was a limit of 150 Schillings per person. Today I went back with a request for 8 people, but the Postal Savings wouldn't release any funds.

90 Serbs moved to our camp from Dietersdorf.

Wednesday, May 22, 1946

UNRRA is providing some clothes for refugees who are working. We're being told that everyone else will have to wait until fall, when we will need clothes for winter.

This evening, Franc Zupan directed a concert of Slovenian singing in the camp hall.

Thursday, May 23, 1946

The camp kitchen is providing us with pea soup in the mornings and pea soup in the evenings. We also get a little bread, meat and potatoes. We've been supplementing that with the potatoes we found left over in farmers' fields last fall, but now our room has only about 20 pounds of those potatoes left. What will do when we finish the last of those?

Saturday, May 25, 1946

UNRRA gave us new ration cards, called "canteen cards," good for the next 2 weeks. Each person can get 40 cigarettes, 1 bar of soap and 5 shaving razors. We traded some of the cigarettes for money and used the money to buy over 100 pounds of potatoes. Used this way, the "canteen card" will be worth about 180 - 200 Schillings per month. But "canteen cards" are not given to refugees who have a job and earn more than 60 Schillings per month.

Sunday, May 26, 1946

Cilka and I have decided to get married before my brother Jože returns to Slovenia (he is saying he will return in a few months.) We had hoped to be married by my brother Stanko, in the presence of our parents, but it has become clear to us that that will not be possible. I would still rather wait until we can afford to have children, but I also need to think about Cilka's reputation. We've been living together (with up to 20 other roommates) for over a year now. The women are asking why we're not married.

Monday, May 27, 1946

A representative of the Austrian "Arbeitsamt" (work office) comes to camp every day looking for workers, but without success. The jobs he has to offer are terrible jobs. The local Austrian farmers usually expect us to work for them for no pay. All they offer is basic room and board, and the quality of the "living quarters" they provide is often not any better than what they provide to their dogs and farm animals. Our people prefer to work on a road construction project which is run by the British. Sixteen refugees applied for 10 jobs there.

My sister Mici has stomach problems. She is treating herself with Belladonna (deadly nightshade) from the nearby woods.

Wednesday, May 29, 1946

Franc Kopa and my cousin Anže Žakelj left the camp to return to their homes in Slovenia. Seven of our roommates have now left to return home. People are wondering whether we were really communist sympathizers. I still don't think it's safe for me to return home.

All the news reports indicate that we are heading for another world war, this time between the Americans and the English on one side, and communist Russia on the other side. Yugoslavia, of course, will side with Russia.

Thursday, May 30, 1946

Since we are now down to 11 people in our room, we took out 2 bunk beds.

Friday, May 31, 1946

I went to 2 Masses this morning for my mother's nameday.

I've been too busy arranging employment for my fellow refugees to continue my driver's training. Besides they no longer have vehicles that we can use for on-the-road training.

Cilka has obtained part-time work sewing the upper parts of shoes for a shoemaker in the city. She gets a little pay and sometimes she is allowed use his sewing machine to make things for refugees in the camp. This morning, I cut out some leather for him.

The representative from the Austrian work office is angry with me because I didn't provide any workers for the rock quarry. I told him that I went there and found the working conditions unacceptable. The pay is terrible, and our men don't get enough food or clothing for that kind of work. So far, he hasn't found a single good job for us.

Saturday, June 1, 1946

The camp is opening a new kitchen for the 50 refugees in our camp who are laborers, teachers and otherwise employed.

Sunday, June 2, 1946

Mire returned from a trip to Koroška and soon left again. He makes enough by buying and selling things to people that he doesn't need a regular job.

I'm angry with our camp board. It's a month since we were elected and we haven't accomplished anything. I'm especially frustrated with my own lack of success in arranging employment for people. When we have board meetings, Dr. Erman talks and people just nod in agreement, but nothing gets done. Even when proposals are accepted, only a few of them are actually carried out. So, I proposed that the agenda for every meeting include a report on the status of previously accepted proposals.

Monday, June 3, 1946

This morning, I went to the UNRRA offices and asked for permission to travel to the refugee camps at Lienz and Spittal, to see how they organize their camp workshops (where the refugees produce things to sell in the surrounding area.) They told me to come back tomorrow. They're angry with me that I haven't sent workers to the rock quarry.

Tuesday, June 4, 1946

I met with UNRRA director Gilbert. He won't allow me to travel to the other camps; he says we don't have time for educational excursions. He says he'll figure out something for workers in our camp himself. There will be big changes coming soon.

I also asked the director if we could have some raw material so the refugees could have a workshop and make things to sell. He replied, "So you can take that raw material to the local farmers and exchange it for bacon and potatoes? You don't know how to make anything, you don't have anything to show!"

When I returned to my room, Felix (one of my roommates) attacked me wildly. Somehow he became convinced that I was trying to send him back home. He accused me of all sorts of things from the past 15 years. Some of them are completely impossible. He screamed and pounded on the table and finally went to see Dr. Est.

Felix is from our hometown of Žiri. He's smart, but there has been something wrong with him mentally since he was born. During the war, he had the job of town crier, informing everyone about the latest news. One Sunday, he called out to people to stop growing red flowers because "The Führer doesn't like red flowers."

In the camp, Felix has always talked about how he will be condemned to death under "the eastern democratic system." He even gave Rev. Klemenčič instructions as to how many candles there should be at his grave. He's hard of hearing and when he can't hear what we're saying, he always thinks we're talking about him. Once, Cene Žakelj was talking about something that had nothing to do with Felix, but Felix suddenly threw a knife toward Cene and yelled out: "You lie!"

Wednesday, June 5, 1946

Last night, I thought all night about what the UNRRA director said yesterday, "You don't know how to make anything, you don't have anything to show!" I decided we will have to show him what we can make out of nothing.

In the afternoon, I went around the camp and wrote down what kinds of things my fellow refugees could make, and what they would be willing to display if we did a show to demonstrate what we can do. Babnik and others yelled and refused to cooperate. Babnik is a skilled metalsmith who has made some truly beautiful items. But I think he's still angry with me because I refused to be on the opposition slate with him when we had the board elections. "I'm not going in with you shoemakers," he said condescendingly. But I didn't take offense at that.

Thursday, June 6, 1946

I continued to ask fellow refugees what they would be willing to display in a craft show, and I wrote it all down. I took the list to the camp office and showed it to them. They looked at it silently, without comment.

Friday, June 7, 1946

I typed invitations to our craft show, including one to UNRRA director Gilbert. The show will be next Monday, in a new barracks which is still empty. Logar, Šepin and Švajger are helping with plans for decoration of the space and arrangement of the items to be displayed. The show will be on a day when the director and the UNRRA office workers will be present. With a few exceptions, everyone in the camp is glad to help.

Saturday, June 8, 1946

It was hot today. I had an argument with my sister regarding the prices we should charge for the bobbin lace she is making. We worked it out.

I have become very nervous due to worries about the upcoming craft show and my fight with Felix. Felix obtained travel permission yesterday to return home, but now he doesn't want to go. He's threatening to tell everyone about the awful things I've done. What does he have to tell? I'm not afraid of that. But it's amazing all the things he's telling people. He's accusing me of wanting to have him sent back home by force. He told the director that I tried to send him to a terrible job, that I forged his signature, that our roommates are traveling outside the camp without the required travel permits (that part is sometimes true), that we all hate him, and so on.

Sunday, June 9, 1946

Yesterday, we drank some milk without boiling it first, and today Cilka and I are both feeling sick. This morning, I felt so sick, I had to leave the chapel during the sermon.

Logar helped me all day, decorating the barracks where we will do the craft show (which will be tomorrow), and arranging the craft items for display. People were supposed to bring their items by 6 p.m. this evening, but they continued bringing more items until 10 p.m. Even people who had been opposed to the idea now brought things that they had made.

Monday, June 10, 1946

At 6 a.m., I went to the display area to finish final arrangements in preparation to open the show at 8. We have, on display, pots made out of downed warplanes, little heart-shaped sewing boxes, brushes made out of larch branches, brooms made of birch branches, shoes, a barrel, a carpenter's wooden table, pictures, lots of bobbin lace, and other things. All together, 50 refugees are displaying 300 items, all things they made here in the camp.

When the show opened, I accompanied the UNRRA director and pointed out various items. For example, I explained that much of the bobbin lace was made out of thread from discarded flour sacks and I emphasized that we could do much better if we had the proper raw materials.

The craft show continued until 9 p.m. We had visitors all day. Everyone was impressed, including the director.

Tuesday, June 11, 1946

The craft display continued all day today. The UNRRA officials came and the wife of the city commandant. I gave her a lace collar.

Now the director wants me to organize a craft show in the city in 14 days. He has visited this show 4 times and has become very friendly.

This evening, my sister Mici returned from a trip to Feldkirchen with hundreds of bobbin lace patterns which were designed by my brother Jože.

Felix left the camp yesterday morning and returned at 10 p.m. last night. During the night, he had fantasies about death. Today, he spent two hours writing "My Deposition," in which he accuses me of planning to have him returned home by force, to have him executed, and similar things. He says almost everyone in our room is planning something bad for him. He took his 6-page "declaration" to Rev. Klemenčič, but the father is against him, too. This evening, Felix didn't return to our room.

Wednesday, June 12, 1946

Last night the rain leaked through our roof, right onto my bed. I slept poorly.

We were asked to extend the craft show for a day, so the city commander could also come see it. Commander Tracy arrived at 9 a.m. with a photographer from UNRRA (United Nations Relief and Rehabilitation Administration). The photographer took many pictures. People continued to come all morning, but at noon we decided to end the show. We returned everything, undamaged, to the individual refugees who had made each item.

In the afternoon, we cleaned the barracks where we had the craft show. I worked on this show full-time for a week - all without pay, but I don't mind. It was a complete success.

After two months of short rations, we are again getting almost a loaf of bread per person per day, but still only 4 oz of milk.

By nightfall, Felix still had not returned to our room. We notified the police.

Thursday, June 13, 1946

Today is my 39th birthday. Cilka was the first to congratulate me. We went to Mass at 6:30 a.m. It rained all morning, with water leaking through our roof. We couldn't figure out how to stop the leak, so I set up pots to catch the water, but it wasn't always leaking in the same spot. (Later we learned that the leak was actually over on the other side of the barracks, and the water was somehow finding its way under the sheet metal covering.)

For my birthday lunch, we had štruklje (a type of dumpling). For dinner, we had salami. Special treats!

I received only one birthday postcard, and that was from my brother Stanko. I was pleased to hear from him. He writes that he is out of prison and healthy. He advises me to not return home. He never received the letters I wrote to him during the war. Apparently, the communists got them. Was it because of my letters that he was imprisoned and suffered so much?

Friday, June 14, 1946

It's cold. Snow fell up on the mountains.

I asked the UNRRA staff for raw materials (wood, thread, wool, aluminum) for the craft display which we have been requested to do in the city next month. They were all very polite but they said they don't have any materials to give.

Saturday, June 15, 1946

Our cigarette rations are being cut from 40 cigarettes every 2 weeks to 15. Since we can trade these cigarettes like money, this means it will be harder to get the extra food and other things we need.

Tone Babnik says he won't participate in the next craft display if Logar is involved, but Logar is the one who is most willing to help.

This afternoon, Janko Demšar and I left by train to visit my brother Jože in Feldkirchen, Austria. Refugees in the camps are required to get permission to travel more than 10 kilometers from the camp, but we decided to not bother with that. Travel permits are too hard to get.

I have wanted to visit Jože for over a year and finally now I am doing it. Jože is also a refugee, but he has a job and a place to stay in Feldkirchen. He works for master shoemaker Smerslak, and has told me that I could get his job when he (Jože) returns to Slovenia.

Sunday, June 16, 1946

At 8 a.m., we went to Mass in Feldkirchen with my brother Jože. Then we visited J. Kokelj, Smerslak and De La Fiore. We discussed Jože's plan to return home, and advised him to wait longer. Our brother Stanko had written from Slovenia, also advising us to "not hurry back home." It's still too dangerous.

Jože made us lunch: corn mush ("žganci"), canned meat in soup, and potatoes. Very nourishing food!

In the afternoon, we walked with Jože to see a castle on a nearby hill. At 7 p.m., Jože's employer, Smerslak, made us a delicious dinner of sausage, bread and coffee. From 8 - 11 p.m., we went to a special church service. There were many people in church, but not all of them were awake.

Monday, June 17, 1946

Janko and I took the train back to Judenburg. At the train station, we saw our old friends Silva Hoja and Mila Huber with her two daughters. Mila didn't have food for her daughters, so I gave them my bread.

When I returned to our refugee camp, I learned that a group of 10 (including Levičar and Mire) were sent by UNRRA to the Kapfenberg camp to help them with camp administration. UNRRA wanted me to take over leadership of the Kapfenberg camp, but Cilka told them I would not want to do that. I'm glad she turned them down. I have heard there is corruption in the administration of the Kapfenberg camp and I don't want to be involved with that. UNRRA finally found someone else who agreed to take the job - a former judge named Fišinger, who know German and English better than I do.

Tuesday, June 18, 1946

I worked on designs for bobbin lace, including a tablecloth.

Wednesday, June 19, 1946

I went to the UNRRA offices to ask for raw materials for the upcoming craft show. All I could get were a few minor supplies.

Thursday, June 20, 1946

At 8 a.m. Mass in the camp chapel, some of the refugee children had their First Communion.

I met with the UNRRA director to ask for materials for the craft show. I also asked for an increase in my cigarette rations (which I could trade for other things) for the work I am doing on the craft show. He promised he would arrange something.

Saturday, June 22, 1946

All morning, I met with various people in the city to make arrangements for the refugee craft show. We thought we would get a hall in a hotel, but now it looks like they can't get it cleaned and ready in time. We need a different space.

Miss Russon is helping us. She is a Canadian employed by UNRRA, very enthusiastic and always very busy. Of all the UNRRA staff, she's the hardest worker. She really cares about the refugees and helps in any way she can. Whenever she goes to Trieste in her jeep, she brings back thread and other raw materials, which we can then use to make things to sell. But she can't stand the Croatians, who are too long-winded. When the Croatians begin to ramble on in our meetings, she cuts them off and asks them to sit down. If we need something from her, we get the best results by just using a single word: "Food!" or "Thread!"

Marjan Kocmur, the photographer, and his brother Alojz arrived for a visit today. They are staying in our room.

Dr. Jagodic, the pope's special delegate for refugees, arrived to conduct a confirmation ceremony in the camp tomorrow.

My brother Jože arrived on a visit from Feldkirchen. He has decided to delay his return home to Slovenia.

Sunday, June 23, 1946

We celebrated Confirmation in the camp chapel this morning. There were 60 Slovenians and 40 Croatians who were confirmed, mostly teenagers, but also some adults. Afterwards, there was a special dinner for the confirmees. Cilka was the sponsor for Primožič's daughter.

Felix returned to our room today, after being gone for almost 2 weeks. He had been arrested in Scheifling for traveling more than 10 kilometers from the camp without permission. After 10 days in jail, they allowed him to return here. He looks pale, is unshaven and appears to be hallucinating. I can't stand him - I have too many other things to worry about!

Wednesday, June 26, 1946

I met three times with UNRRA staff and the UNRRA director to ask for materials for the craft show, but without success!

At 11 a.m., I went with Miss Russon to a meeting of representatives from other camps. UNRRA says we have to share whatever raw materials we can get with the other camps. But the Slovenians in our camp are really the only ones who have developed a capacity to make some quality products. The Croatians in Murdorf are making a few brushes out of tamarack branches and the Ukrainians aren't making anything.

In the evening, we had a meeting in our camp. Babnik agreed to help with the craft show.

Felix is hallucinating and talking about how he will die tomorrow.

Thursday, June 27, 1946

I spent all day walking to various places in the city, asking for paint and wood for the upcoming craft show, but couldn't get anything.

Our UNRRA director, Mr. Gilbert, suddenly announced that he will be leaving after 4 months with us. When he arrived, he was very strict and not very supportive, especially with the Slovenians. But we impressed him with our first craft show and he changed his mind. We will be sorry to see him go.

Friday, June 28, 1946

Again, I went all over town asking for materials for the craft show, and finally obtained 4 cubic meters of lumber and about 15 lbs. of paint. Everything will have to shared with the Croatians and the Ukrainians.

I got the lumber from the city's military commander. When I knocked on his office door, there was no answer, so I just walked into his office. He happened to be meeting with a city official and was angry that I interrupted them, but he agreed to my request.

Šepin went with me to the lumber mill to pick out the lumber. First he chose some thick beech boards which he could use to build a work bench. (Later we also used some of this lumber to make benches for the camp chapel.)

We received a postcard from Brezje (the religious shrine in Slovenia). My sister-in-law Francka and 60 other people from our home village walked to Brezje and back (about 50 miles). She writes that it may be safe for my sister Mici to return home now.

Saturday, June 29, 1946

It's been a year since we arrived in Judenburg. How much longer before we can go home?

This afternoon, we met with representatives from the other camps to plan the upcoming craft show. Some people talked in German and some talked in their own languages. We had a hard time understanding each other. The UNRRA director wants the show to continue for a week, and he wants each nationality group to perform national songs and dances in the evenings - at least two performances for each group.

This afternoon we had a thunderstorm and flooding in our room.

Our roommate Felix continues to hallucinate. He is constantly talking - loudly - about how people are trying to poison him. Since the camp police have come to know him and refuse to listen to him, he is now taking his accusations to the city police.

Sunday, June 30, 1946

My worries about the upcoming craft show are keeping me from sleeping.

Steierblatt, the local newspaper, had a very positive article about the upcoming craft show. It mentioned that Slovenians have been influenced by German culture for hundreds of years, and that this is evident in the quality of their workmanship.

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